what i think

It is funny how I can do my stuff based on what I think others are thinking about me. This is hugely embedded in me.

For example, even in this blog, I dont write as though nobody else is going to read it. But I tend to write as believing that somebody is reading this, and I unconsciously tend to imagine and cautiosly build an image in him for me.

Thats why I am so unlikeable.

BECAUSE I DONT EVEN THINK OF MYSELF. I think of others, but that is in a dysfunctional way, BECAUSE MOST OF MY THOUGHTS ARE DIRECTED TOWARDS KNOWING WHAT OTHERS ARE THINKING ABOUT ME, AND HOW CAN CREATE A PARTICULAR IMAGE HE HAS OF ME.

This is narcissism at its peak.